


Goodbyes are Tough

by Crowsims



Series: A Crow Flies in Sunnydale [9]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Crow - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 09:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17846975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowsims/pseuds/Crowsims
Summary: The death of Joyce puts a strain on Carmen and Buffy's relationship. Carmen doesn't know the whole reason why, but when she does, she goes to great lengths to fix things.





	Goodbyes are Tough

**Author's Note:**

> Next in the series and the last we'll see of Joyce. I've tried to stay true to the timelines and episodes, changing only what I need to in order to fit my OC in to things. Though later on you'll note I will make a few changes the universe that I just liked better.

The vampire flew through the air and crashed through the flimsy metal wall of the warehouse, scattering the ashes of his fallen friends. I followed after him, delivering a few blows to his demonic face then kicked him back through the man shaped hole. Faith sat on a crate in front of the fallen vamp, looking on with a mix of awe and impatience.

 

“Is this some PMS thing or have we done something to piss you off?” the vamp asked as he got to his knees and looked at me with blood leaking out of his nose and the corner of his mouth.

 

“PMS is a myth,” Faith stated strongly, “Anyway she’s dead. Pretty sure her body’s immune to the trouble we mortal women face.”

 

I looked over at Faith, in full Crow state and gave her a half grin and a raised eyebrow.

 

“What? It’s true.”

 

“Look, as much as I’m enjoying the break from the beat down, can we just skip to the end,” the vamp interrupted.

 

“That all depends on if she’s done working out her frustration on your face,” Faith questioned. I sighed and pulled out my stake, looking down at the vamp and mumbled ‘sorry’ before dusting him. “Feel better?”

 

“Better,” I scoffed, “Yeah, Faith, I’m just fuckin aces.” The reason I’m patrolling with Faith tonight instead of Buffy is sad but simple.

 

Joyce died.

 

She’d been having headaches and dizzy spells off an on for a while now and when she went to the doctor he diagnosed her with a brain tumor. They operated on it and everything was fine until she suffered an aneurism one morning. Buffy tried CPR but there was nothing she could do. Her mother was dead and unlike me, she wasn’t coming back.

 

Dawn took it the hardest after it was discovered she was some mystical energy thingy given form by a bunch of monks, put in to Buffy’s and our lives in order to keep her safe from some powerful demon named Glory. They both were in pain and I wanted to be there for them, but neither one of them would let me. My being a Crow does not make me an expert on death nor am I its mistress. I couldn’t do anything to help Joyce and that wasn’t okay with either of them.

 

Buffy said she understood but she sure wasn’t acting like it and Dawn…Dawn has barely said one word to me in days. I’ve been giving them space and time to grieve but I can’t stand the cold shoulder much longer.

 

I’m starting to get frost bite.

 

“Care to tell me what brought on using that vamp as a punching bag?”

 

“Let’s see,” I began, the Crow receding as I paced anxiously in front of her, “A new powerful demon storms in to town that’s been knocking the three of us around like rag dolls while she searches for her Key. Which turns out to be Dawn made from Buffy and pushed in to our memories and lives.”

 

“Which would be dull without her,” Faith interrupted warmly, “We all love her and don’t see her that way…including you.”

 

“True,” I sighed before continuing in a hurt tone, “Then there’s my girl. She’s hurting and in pain and won’t let me help her. She won’t even talk to me because some small part of her is angry at me, thinking I could have brought Joyce back. She’s moved back home to be closer to Dawn and uses you as a messenger when she wants something from me. Hell, any time Sis gets within five feet of her she shouts at her to get lost.”

 

 _‘She shouts because she can’t risk hurting me by throwing pointy objects,_ ’ Sis explained grouchily from her perch.

 

“I know it’s been rough on you but she’s just upset,” Faith offered soothingly as she jumped down and stopped my pacing by taking hold of my shoulders, “When I lost my mom and had to hear about it from my Watcher…it was rough. We never really reconciled and I never got to say goodbye.”

 

“You what?” I asked looking wide eyed at her.

 

“I never got to say goodbye. That’s B’s problem. It has nothing to do with you it’s just…”

 

I cupped her head and silenced her lips with mine in a big sloppy kiss before pulling back and smiling brightly at her.

 

“You are a genius,” I stated warmly, placing a kiss on her shocked forehead before turning and looking up at Sis, “I need a favor.”

 

 _‘No,’_ Sis stated sternly.

 

“I haven’t even told you what it is yet.”

 

 _‘I know you and the answer is no,’_ Sis breathed softly, flying down and landing on my outstretched arm, _‘You have no idea how dangerous what you’re asking can be…for you.’_

 

“What are you two talking about?” Faith asked worriedly.

 

“Just do me a favor and go and get them to Joyce’s grave please,” I said over my shoulder to Faith.

 

“And how the hell do expect me to do that?”

 

“Just be your charming self,” I answered with a smirk.

 

Faith huffed and stormed out of the warehouse as I went back to talking to my bird.

 

“Sis, I am begging you,” I pleaded softly, “I can’t stand seeing them like this…the hurt and anger in their eyes every time they look at me. I’m willing to storm the pearly gates if that’s what it takes to ease their hearts.”

 

 _‘You stupid, lovesick whipped,’_ Sis ranted off as she ducked her head and squawked loudly before flying off, _‘Fine, I’ll do it. Just be warned, you may not be prepared for what you’re about to face.’_

 

“Cryptic much,” I called after her, having no clue what she is talking about.

 

All I know is if she sounds this worried about me it can’t be good. I appreciate the concern, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make my girl smile again. Even if it’ll probably come followed by a river of tears.

 

***

 

“What are we doing here, Faith?” Buffy asked angrily.

 

“I told her to bring you two here,” I answered, stepping out of the shadows and smiling warmly at Buffy. She sighed painfully then glared at Faith as Dawn crossed her arms and also glared at Faith. “You can run away now, Faith,” I teased.

 

“You owe me huge,” she growled as she slowly backed up and spared a glance at Buffy, “I’ll be in the jeep if you need me.”

 

Faith bolted and I laughed, causing Buffy to crack a strained smile as she looked sideways at me. “Look sweetie,” Buffy began softly.

 

“I know what you two are really mad at and it ain’t me,” I stopped her reaching out and placing a hand on Joyce’s smooth headstone, “I’ve just been a convenient patsy for who you’re really mad at. Being the best girlfriend in the world, I’ve let you play your little ruse despite how much it pains me…but no more.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dawn asked me in a low tone.

 

“It means I want you two to come here and take my hands,” I answered, holding out my hands as Sis landed on the headstone beside me.

 

“Carmen,” Buffy breathed in a shaky tone.

 

“Trust me, Buffy,” I said in a strong yet gentle tone.

 

“No,” Buffy replied without much conviction.

 

“Please baby.”

 

Dawn took her sister’s hand and looked at her with a gentle smile on her face as she dragged her along and took my hand. Buffy looked down at my other one and closed her eyes as a tear fell down her cheek.

 

She must have some notion as to why I brought them here and was clearly fighting the idea, but I wasn’t about to let her shy away. I reached up and cupped her cheek, fighting down the surge of electricity that coursed through me from the simple feel of her skin. Buffy must have felt it too because she opened her eyes and smiled lovingly at me. It’s felt like forever since we’ve touched each other and clearly our bodies have missed the sensations just being close to one another stirs in us.

 

I know I have.

 

“Okay,” Buffy breathed as she rested her hand on top of mine then brought it down and interlaced our fingers, “What do you want us to do?”

 

“Just close your eyes.” They did as I asked and I squeezed their hands then looked to Sis.

 

_‘You sure you want to go through with this?’_

 

I nodded then closed my eyes and lowered my head as I called out in a whispered tone, “Erica…I need some help here.”

 

The air around us shifted and soon I felt a long forgotten presence behind me as a bright light engulfed us.

 

“You can open your eyes now ladies,” Erica said from behind me.

 

I was still holding Buffy and Dawn’s hands in mine as I opened my eyes and saw a very familiar setting. A cloudy dreary sky above a lush forest with a wooden rope bridge in front of us. We were in the land of the dead, or at least the place the dead go to before going where they’re supposed to. Dawn opened her eyes and looked around us in shock while Buffy stared fixatedly over my shoulder at Erica.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you Buffy,” Erica greeted politely.

 

“You as well,” Buffy replied, smiling sweetly but I could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn’t entirely pleased about this, “Where are we?”

 

“Purgatory, the Land of the Dead. This place has so many names, but you don’t need to know them because you won’t be here long,” Erica answered as she pointed to a growing circular whirlpool of bright white energy forming on the other side of the bridge. A form stepped out and made its way towards us before materializing in to Joyce Summers.

 

“Mom,” Dawn breathed softly before smiling brightly and running at her, her voice growing happy and loud. “Mom!”

 

Buffy looked over her shoulder as Joyce embraced Dawn and held her close then looked at me in disbelief as I leaned in to her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Be nice and go talk to her. Say what you didn’t get the chance to say.”

 

Buffy nodded then turned and ran at break neck speed to her mother, nearly knocking her and Dawn over as they all laughed and cried.

 

“Let’s give them some privacy,” Erica suggested as she placed her hand at the small of my back and led me past them to the bridge.

 

***

 

“I suppose I should say thank you for the anniversary gift idea,” I laughed as we lent over the middle of the bridge where I took my freefall.

 

“You’re welcome,” Erica replied from beside me, “You sang it beautifully. I’m very proud of you, Carmen. You’ve done so much good and you and Buffy have come a long way in your relationship.”

 

“Thank you,” I sighed, tightening my hold on the rope in my hands.

 

“You don’t want to talk about your relationship, even though I gave you my blessing and helped you bring your fully alive girlfriend and her sister here,” Erica joked but went serious when she saw my white knuckled hands and tense shoulders, “You’re feeling it aren’t you…the pull?”

 

I glanced over at the swirling white whirlpool and had to fight the irresistible urge building in my gut. Every instinct in my body was telling me to let go of the bridge and walk in to it.

 

“What’s through there?”

 

“Where you’re supposed to be,” Erica answered placing a hand on my back, “Heaven. You’re a Crow that has balanced the scales and earned your place there with me, regardless of the fact that you have permission to stay and be with your Slayer.”

 

This must be what Sis was trying to warn me about, what she was trying to protect me from. She knew the longer I was here the harder I’d have to fight to stay with Buffy. I looked over and saw Dawn and Buffy still talking with their mother, guessing they were almost done by the way Dawn was holding on tight to her and Buffy was crying softly. But they still weren’t ready to leave yet.  I’d keep fighting the pull of heaven so I could stay with my version of it.

 

Joyce looked over and saw me staring at them and smiled brightly as she motioned me over to join them. I made my way over till I stood beside Buffy with a soft smile directed at Joyce.

 

“I wanted to thank you for bringing them here to see me one last time. I also have a favor to ask of you. I want you to continue looking out for my Buffy, to be with her and help her through her struggles as the Slayer. I want you to also be there for Dawn and keep her safe. No matter what she may have started out as, she’s my daughter and I don’t want anything to happen to her. I love them both and plan on seeing them again; though not for a great deal of time.”

 

“I swear to you, Joyce, that for long as I walk this earth I will continue to look after and protect your daughters,” I vowed to her in a strong serious tone.

 

“Then it’s time girls,” Joyce began in a forced cheerful tone despite the pain in her eyes, “Dawnie, listen to your sister and try to stay out of trouble. I’m counting on you to help keep these two in line. I love you so much and know you will grow up to be a wonderful beautiful woman.”

 

“Thank you mom. I love you too,” Dawn cried as she hugged her mother tight and pulled away to stand along side of me.

 

“Buffy, my brave sweet strong Buffy,” Joyce smiled warmly, reaching out and cupping her cheek, “Be strong for your sister and raise her right. Despite everything we’ve been through, I’ve always been proud of you.”

 

“Mom,” Buffy cried as she moved in and hugged her tight.

 

“I will always be watching over you girls, but this is goodbye until we’re reunited,” Joyce told them softly, pulling back from her daughters and smiling sadly at them as Erica came and stood behind her.

 

“It’s time to go Joyce,” Erica said coming around and standing before me sheepishly, “Buffy, might I ask you a favor.”

 

“You don’t even have to ask,” she stated warmly, giving me a nod.

 

I reached out and embraced Erica, hugging her close as she buried her face in my hair. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Erica replied, pulling back then leaning in to capture my lips with hers in a gentle kiss, her hands cupping my face and pulling on my bottom lip with her teeth before breaking apart and looking back at Buffy, “You have no idea how lucky you are to have her in your life? How much this woman loves you and the distances she will go for you and your sister?”

 

“I’m beginning to see it,” Buffy stated in a teary tone as she moved in and wrapped her arms around my waist, holding me close as she rested her head on my shoulder, “Goodbye mom.”

 

“Bye mommy,” Dawn cried as she hugged my other side.

 

“Goodbye my darlings,” Joyce breathed, blowing us a kiss.

 

Erica smiled at me as she led Joyce back to the portal and white light once again engulfed us, blinding us as we were sent back to the land of the living.

 

***

 

When we opened our eyes again we were back standing in front of Joyce’s grave, the only thing keeping me up though is Buffy and Dawn.

 

 _‘I warned you,’_ Sis squawked from her perch on the grave.

 

“What do you mean warned her?” Buffy turned and asked Sis, still holding my hand so as to commune with the mystical bird.

 

I was staggering on my feet and Dawn was trying to hold me up but failing. “Buffy,” Dawn called to her sister as I began slinking to the ground.

 

Buffy let go of my hand and helped Dawn ease my tired and weary body down, resting me back against her mothers grave stone.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Dawn asked worriedly.

 

“I’m dead, Dawnie, there’s so many things wrong with me,” I answered jokingly but went serious when I saw the stern look in both their eyes, “Your mom came from heaven to talk to you. That portal that stuck around led there. It was pulling at me, every fiber of my being was telling me to cross over, but I fought it. I guess the strain was a little too much for me to handle.”

 

“You could have gone and been with Erica but you fought it. Why?” Buffy asked in a teary tone.

 

“I go to heaven every time I’m with you babe. Why would I want to go anywhere else?”

 

Buffy leaned in and kissed me deeply, her lips were just as soft and sweet as ever and sent surges of heat throughout my whole body. We pulled apart when Buffy needed to breathe and smiled warmly at each other.

 

“Carmen, thank you,” Dawn said softy from my other side.

 

“Thanks sweetie,” Buffy added lowly.

 

“You’re welcome ladies.”

 

They glanced at each other then moved in and hugged me in a dual bone crushing embrace. I just sat there and wrapped my arms around them and squeezed back with what little strength I had left. Buffy pulled back then hugged her sister, whispering something in her ear that made Dawn laugh and stand up once they released each other. Dawn smiled down at me then headed back to Faith in the car.

 

“Go with her,” I ordered Sis, “Make sure she gets back to Faith.”

 

 _‘No rest for the weary,’_ Sis sighed as she flew off, circling Dawn then flying in front of her. Dawn laughed then chased after her.

 

“Why would you send her away?” I asked curiously.

 

“Because she doesn’t need to see me thank my girlfriend for once again proving she’s the best in the world,” Buffy answered straddling my waist and running her hands across my chest.

 

“Buffy,” I breathed shakily, “We are in front of your mother’s grave.”

 

“So,” she replied as she leaned in and started placing light kisses along my neck.

 

“So I might survive a bolt of lightening but you wouldn’t,” I informed her, mustering up my strength to push her back.

 

“Fine, I’ll just have to thank you at home.”

 

“Shouldn’t we talk about the future? What we need to do in order to take care of Dawn and the house and everything?” I asked in a mock serious tone.

 

“We could do that,” Buffy agreed then leaned in and whispered something that is not appropriate for your ears.

 

I was standing on my feet in a flash after getting my second wind, picking up Buffy and slinging her over my shoulder in a firemen’s carry. She laughed and playfully smacked my butt as I carried her to my bike.

 

One simple trip to the land of the dead and everything was back to normal between us, who would have guessed. I know we do need to start making plans and talking about what we should do about living conditions, but right now I have other, naughtier things on my mind so that will have to wait till later.

 

Much, much later.


End file.
